Tuesday, 5 October 2010
How to handle frustration
good for me
Frustration is the result of an expectation. Shauna had an unrealistic expectation that Mark would be on time, despite the fact that he never was. Shauna knew from the very beginning of their relationship that Mark was always late, but she convinced herself that she could make him change. Shauna hated being late, but because she had fallen in love with Mark, she didn't want to accept that she could not make him change. So she kept trying to get him to be on time, and kept feeling frustrated each time he was late.
You will likely feel frustrated any time you do not accept the reality of a person or situation. Many people believe that they can get others to change - if they are loving enough, needy enough, angry enough, hurt enough, or punishing enough. Sometimes people will give in to you, but often they end up resisting in other areas in order to not feel controlled by you. No one likes to feel controlled, so often people unconsciously do whatever it is you don't like to not feel controlled. Few people have learned how to decide for themselves whether or not they want to do as another asks them to do. Instead, they either give in and resent you, or they resist, and in both cases there are negative consequences for the relationship.
Frustration often arises from the lack of progress or the failure to achieve a desired goal. It can be triggered by something as simple as not getting an "A" on a college paper or as complex as receiving negative criticism after presenting an idea to your boss or business partner. It happens to babieswho fall when they try to walk, and to adults who fail while attempting to perfect a new task. While it is a common emotion, people respond or react to it differently. What is important is learning to handle it successfully so it doesn't overtake your day.
Frustration is not the outcome of what others are doing to you, but rather your reaction to what is happening.Therefore you and you alone have the best equipment for handling all that aggravation. It all starts with a simple thought. I kid you not, in fact if most people could take a microscopic tour of their own brains they would see all kinds of little sparks firing off inside their cranium, from something as trivial as having to wait in line at the grocers. It seems the easier life is made via high speed technologies, like cell phones and microwave the more impatient people have become. It is impatience that leads to frustration. And I hate to tell you this, but frustration left to build inside of you just might kill you. Learning to rewire your thinking, to better handle frustration is a easy first step towards better health.
Posted by knowledge seeker at 15:55