Monday, 6 July 2009

a loving and caring family. Embracing Imperfections

a story that makes tears flowing from my eyes.

Embracing Imperfections

I would like to share a story that usefully captures my central message. It is titled “embracing imperfections.”
"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mother placed a plate of eggs and extremely burnt toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jam on that toast and eat every bite! 7

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: "My darling, I love burnt toast."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his toast burnt. He wrapped me in his arms and said,
"My daughter, your Mother put in a hard day at work today and she's really tired. And besides, a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!"
The message here is that life is full of imperfect things.... and imperfect people. It carries with it responsibilities and compromises. Learning to accept each other’s shortcomings, celebrating each other’s differences, and most of all respecting each other are important keys to creating healthy growing and lasting relationships. And we would do well to heed this message within our families.
The Muslim family should also serve as a place of refuge from the harsh psychological and emotional trauma we have to endure as a result of the violent environments within which we live. There can be no better place for securing comfort than from a loving and caring family. It is within the family context that we can nurture hope and optimism and zest for life. For the family, however, to play this supportive role it would need to be a mature family which would be able to deal positively with internal conflict arising from rivalry among siblings, the generation gap or differences in interest and religious or intellectual commitments. It requires respectful dialogue and communication within the family, not fist-fights, insults and animosity.
In this regard the institutions of civil society such as family counselling and parental guidance centres should play a useful complementary role in assisting families to manage internal conflict. 8

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